12:36pm

On my lunch break, feeling kinda stuffy. Woke up through out the night with a sore throat when I swallowed. (Fear of strep..) But that went away but instead a stuffy head, ears, and nose took its place. Elyse is in the process of convincing me I have allergies but I've never had them before so I'm weary to believe it. Although the symptoms sure are making me believe my immune system is starting to weaken or something.

On a brighter note, I've been keeping busy and having fun with Em. Things are continuing to go just swimmingly. Falling more and more in love with him as time goes on. Last night Blake (Bardsley), Austin, Em, and myself all had a little bon fire night with s'mores and laughs. It was great and the fact that Emmit and my best friends are all getting along and becoming friends themselves is fantastic.
I had no doubts that everyone would get along, but it's great to just see every ones interactions and such. Find who has what in common, he also met Traece since I am borrowing a lens from him for the 4 day trip Emmit and I are taking in the next few days.
Tonight I've invited all of my friends mentioned as well as a few of the Carolines crew for Black Light Bowling- which I have no doubts should be fun as hell.

Emmit's birthday is soon following as well. The last of the first. (January 31st). Although this trip is a week early- we will celebrate his becoming a 20 year old for those 4 days.

Lets see, what else is going on in my life that I have yet to document..

- lunch break ended -

Well I have been editing photos again! I suppose that is something new.

I always forget just how much relief it brings whilst editing.

It's just pretty soothing to get back into something that once brought me much joy.

It can't be unseen.

New Years

Working on some long exposures.

I can't begin to tell you how nice it is to see photos of my own back on my blog.

I mean it brings me back to my first few posts that started it all. (One of) the many purposes of this damn thing. I want to document my life and everything that may (or may not) be important.

Days as simple as these, that I may forget in the future and I pray I don't. It's days like these that matter. That count. 

You know the saying:

"stop and smell the roses"

Well there are  f u l l  days that need to be recognized such as this. Walks with Sophie at Empire Mine. Simple talks with her when I explain what aperture is and just lose myself in what I'm saying. 

Macro photos are also sort of an example of this. They are really what I first fell in love with when I discovered what photography was. I have always loved details when it comes to photos or even drawing so taking the little shots along the way with Sophie made me feel really nice. 

I hope I'm not forgetting anything important.. 

Not like I can't come back if I do remember. 

So-

Until next time.

9:38am

I have no complaints.
Today shall be grand.
Posting shall continue later today.

Have a lovely day folks.

12:30am

Such. A. Nice. Day.


I went to Barnes & Noble for the first time the other day. Purchased a sketchbook that looks and feels like Tom Riddle's diary. But with graph paper inside. And I also got some ASL flashcards.

Even better today my best friend Cru took photos of me early this morning on a lovely trail and so I got a nice bit of exercise as well as lovely photos of myself! Which never happens due to lack of knowledgeable family members and friends when it comes to cameras.

So yeah- 2014 is fucking rad. And I'm not even going to knock on wood because I just know it will continue.

I've had Monday and Tuesday off (like normal) and then I get tomorrow off too, and Emmit does too! It's just like the best week ever. Then we got our days off that we asked for. 21-24th.
So January is just kicking ass. I just feel so inspired to make this year count. 

• I'm excited for school and my classes.
• I'm excited for work-kinda.
• I'm excited for adventure and doing things.
• Being active.
• Friends.
• New house, room, furniture, etc.
• Photos/art
• Emmit..especially Emmit.

This will be our year. I feel good.

9:01pm

My hands and fingers are still a bit shaky. I must admit. I wasn't expecting to have such a good/nerve-wracking/wonderful/much needed talk this evening.

Things in my head that I only talk about on here in private or to Courtney were said. And it feels so nice to have just put so much out there. To have someone I can so easily talk to, who I know will understand my stuttering when I get a bit shaken up about a subject or whatnot.

Sam and Hana were brought up as well as drugs and alcohol.

That already gives you an idea of how much my hands were shaking. 

I told him my thoughts and my "New Years Resolution" to stop following Hana on certain social networks to relieve myself from some over-thinking. {Which leads to making myself feel ill.} We came to the conclusion that she most likely still does have feelings for him and most likely always will. Until she exits this phase and realizes how exhausting it will be. Just as Sam needs to. 

Emmit and myself realize that neither of us have anything to worry about since we understand just how much we feel and care for each other. But it was still really nice to finally get out my over-thinking.. not necessarily worries, more like stories in my head. And even that still could have been worded better.

I'm not going to get into full details of what was said since I'm not sure I can write it all down let alone recall it all. 

What I will remember and carry with me for months if not years is what he told me near the end of our conversation.

His promise to me. To show how much he cares, how much I influence him- to be a better person and remember what he believed years ago-

He is no longer going to smoke weed.

I know to anyone else right now this means so little. But with my views on things and how big a deal it truly is -to me- I cried.

Not to compare anyone, but Sam never did that nor would he have.

I'm grateful that any and all my friends really were respectful when it came to that, by not smoking around me and whatnot, but no one has ever made this huge of a promise to me.

I just can't express how grateful I am for this human.

  

He told me how Hana was the real reason he started to smoke in the first place. Which I had no idea. Her mom smokes and so in a sense, "she peer pressured him"- he actually said that.

He did explain he is a curious person and therefore thats why he continued to 'experiment' with things. Which I suppose is understandable. I still feel that no one should be experimenting until at a 'legal' age. 

Which then brings me to what I've been thinking about lately.

My birthday is coming up, and it's my 21st. I've been.. overthinking.. and then rethinking.

I keep telling everyone how I'm not planning on drinking on my birthday. Because I've been grouped into the label of "Straightedge."

I did not put myself there, but once everyone explained it to me and I fit in {due to my personal choices} thats what I became. Now I have a label and a reputation to uphold. I wasn't aware how much pressure that would bring me. I thought I was doing all this for myself. To be the person my mom isn't. Not even temp myself to dip into her ways. But now I'm trying to put together my thoughts and beliefs.

I'm still kinda figuring it out but I guess I've come to a more open mind about what I plan on drinking on the 15th of March.

Our conversation isn't quite over since he had to go home to help him mom with her website stuff. But all in all, I just think everything just couldn't have gone better.

Like I keep saying, I'm so grateful. And just truly in love.

Until next time.

10:12am

Where to begin, I'll start with a Good Morning! I'm in a wonderful mood today all thanks to yesterday. It was the first day in I don't know how long that Em and I both had the day off. So we spent it to the fullest of its potential. I woke up early, showered, and headed up the hill to town to get some boots then meet Emmit at Caroline's. His scooter had a bolt or something come off and a piece was almost dragging on the ground so I came to his rescue. We then went to Briar Patch, got some breakfast and then headed to his house to grab some adventuring equipment.

Stopped by Caroline's- filled up our thermoses,  and off we went.
Tobogans in the back ready to play in the snow, camera batteries filled, as well as film loaded.

Headed up Highway 49 in search of snow and beautiful scenery. Both of which we received. Granted- we didn't get to use the sleds due to lack of snow and by the time we got to areas of 6200 ft elevation it was getting too dark to use them. But I'm getting ahead of myself.
The drive up the hill was just divine, we stopped at the river to see how low it was then continued on to the dam at Bullards. Stopped and took some photos and basked in the largeness of it all.
We both have the same feelings towards large structures.

Climbed into a bridge overlooking a beautiful river that leads to the Yuba.

After that we got back on the road and stumbled across this huge forest with ferns between the trees and it was a no brainer we had to stop and take advantage of that. I could have stayed there all day if we could.

He had to remind me of our time management problem so we left. Continued on the road and enjoyed the beautiful white snow against the flowing river in my side of he road. At one point we had passed a opening in some trees and knew in that moment we had to turn around and take some photos there as well.

We are still making great time at this point and the day is not even close to being over. On our journey onward we passed by many little cabins you can rent out (which we will also be looking into.) 

I didn't get any photos of them since I was still just so mesmerized by the day itself and all the trees and how majestic they are. Soon we passed through Downieville, which if you've never been there- which I hadn't.. then let me just tell you. It's the quaintest little town that was born for Christmas. Em and I had nicknamed it "Little Switzerland" because it was just lovely. The snow and there were still christmas light and trees out all over the streets. I was in complete awe of the tiny town.

We didn't stop and walk around due to his plans ahead. But we did stop in another small town to pee and get road food. 

Emmit told me about his love for rest stops and such. And then I proceeded to ask if we had a plan or destination. It was just a few minutest later when we came across a sign that read -Road Closed- and it was covered in snow. But only for about 100 yards and with my 4WD it was no issue. It was pretty compacted and I trust Emmit to drive me safely anywhere.

Soon enough the grand finale has approached us and we sat a bit and took more photos. He had one more Christmas present for me and let me open it in front of this beautiful landscape. It was really for us, a bottle of massage oil. We had previously mentioned how nice it would be to have some actual massage oil since we give each other back rubs often.

#adventuremobile

This isn't the end of our trip but we are getting close. We stopped at another lookout point overlooking Sierra Valley I believe. At this point we are in Sierra City and back at the small town we got food at we were long out of Nevada County. Perhaps even before that. That overlook wasn't as nice since the trees were grown fairly tall and covering a bit of the view but the whole valley was covered in snow and just looked like this tiny town in the middle of a frozen lake. Which was a beautiful idea. At this point the sky was a gorgeous plum violet.

Since the sun was setting it got quite cold and we didn't stay long. We then headed down into the snow valley lake where the Sierra Hot Springs were. We had thought about checking them out since the day before but I wasn't sure if we still wanted to. Next thing we know we are in 90º water that is completely natural. Filled with minerals and exfoliating our skin without realizing it.

We had 3 hours to soak in a number of pools but only 2 we took advantage of. It was absolutely the best way to have concluded our evening. 

On our way home after drying off and warmed up in the car we passed through Downtown Truckee which was very cute with its tree-lit street. We stopped and snacked a bit and then carried on and sang  to silly old songs and such while I also edited these photos.

To think about how much we did in just one day. In less than 24 hours we had done some of our most favourite things and it was just more than I could have ever asked for. 

We have asked for a few days off in Late January to actually go camping just before the semester starts, that of which we are both looking forward to as well.

I better wrap this post up since I think that describes our full day.

On a separate note- Christmas was a few days ago and was nice. Small and very laid back. Nice to have a few days off to recoup and just relax. But today I plan to get some things done. Clean, return something to Ross and such.

Regardless today should be nice just from my old mood continuing onto today.

Until next time,

Me.

5:18pm

It's finals week and tomorrow will be the last day of the semester. It's weird. It never feels right or hits me that I don't have to wake up early on Mondays and Wednesdays anymore..

Today is also the 2 month mark point with Emmit. I could not ask for a better person to be in love with. I really feel like this is what it feels like. But it's only 2 months in. I just can't describe how much happier and natural it all feels compared to who I was with previously.

I guess it just doesn't feel like 2 months since I've known him for so long.

Regardless, I don't even remember what it's like to kiss anyone else nor do I want to.

I would like to get rid of this splitting headache I currently have. I need food. I think I'll head over to Briar Patch and pick up something. Especially if I'm going to Victorian Christmas tonight with Emmit, Cru, and John.

Cru's lady friend Jamie came over from Utah for a bit and left yesterday. She's gorgeous and I really like her. Cru said he's in deep. Completely head over heals- I'm really happy for him. He deserves someone like her. And I'm really comfortable with where I stand with Cru. He's like a big brother and I love calling him that. There is no attraction to him on any other level really. He's attractive, but I have Emmit and I adore him. (:

Let's see, the new house is coming together. Still pretty gutted since the last time I saw it. But it's really coming together. I'm more excited than I can put into words. I need to clean out my cluttered mess of a room and start fresh. Minimalism will be my new middle name.

I think my headache is finally fading away thank goodness. But I still need food.

Christmas carols have been played on a loop for the past 14 days and we still haven't even put up our tree. Ugh....

But all my gifts are just about done for Em. I haven't really had much time for anyone else. I'm planning on that after tomorrow. 

I'm broke- so it will be not nearly as extravagant as last year. Buying both my dad and Blake cameras.. Knife set for dad.. Headphones for Blake.. Etc.

This semester has hit my bank account full force.

But I'll be fine. Making the most of it.

-just had to catch up on things. Since I've been away for a bit.

Ps- Thanksgiving was also nice. Fort Bragg with the family. Photos below. 

8:27pm

Tomorrow marks the day we leave early for Fort Bragg/Mendicino area for Thanksgiving.

I'm very excited to be near the ocean, and go to glass beach- not to mention get out of Grass Valley.

Dad is bringing "Jo-Cell".......

So yeah. Not sure how I feel about that.

Hardly know her. Hard to understand her sometimes. Bleh.. I just don't think I like this scenario.

I'll probably just be reading or taking photos the whole time.

We'll see.