Maddie got her tattoo the other day. I held her hand and comforted her. She got a sprig of lavender on the side of her arm.
I have come to a conclusion.
As straight forward as it may sound- its just the truth. Looking at my life from a realist point of view.
My birthday wasn't so long ago. But it also seems as though it's coming up soon. In a matter of months. I'll be 20.
Which means if you round up, I've already spent 1/5th of my life. (assuming I live till I'm 100.)
And during these past few years I've come to really realize how I've been spending it. By making others happy. Living up to others expectations. Caring what people think. And I hate it. I miss being 7 years old and not wearing shoes. Climbing trees and not knowing what a metabolism was.
Yes, I do enjoy growing up and learning and experiencing new things. I just wish I could do everything I'd like.
The more I think about what I'm calling my "Timeline Theory" the more I want to say "fuck it"- and do everything I would like to so that I don't leave after my 100 years and say "I wish I'd done that."
I don't want to wish.
I want to remember.
After I get home from house sitting I'm talking to my dad about my computer. The one I'd like to purchase before school. The MacBook.
I'll give it a few more weeks perhaps, to talk to him about my tattoo.
I'm not quite certain about my font, but at least I know where I want it and the words obviously.
That is just my thoughts from the past few days.
It's getting late and I work tomorrow. (shocker!)
Goodnight, and until next time.
