7:38am

I had a bad dream last night.

I watched too much Netflix yesterday and I'm sure that contributed to it.

I feel weird now, and the idea of sleeping in at this point means 7am.

I need to blog more. I'm just in my head a lot right now and it's an uncomfortable morning. I don't want to be by myself. 

Maybe I can try to explain some of this later. 

7:41pm

Today the air smelled of nostalgia. The best kind. The kind where the flowers and plants are in full force bloom- they smell of dryer sheets. They smell like when I was little and the laundry is done and mom puts it in a big pile on her bed and I jump in. It smells of warmth and salty tears of happiness.

The sun does that sort of thing. It makes you remember and makes you happy. 

6:52pm

Goodness me it's been a decent while.

I had a birthday (22!) which was fantastic. Super laid back BBQ with family and many friends. Kelly made me a cake and all together it was grand.

I got my poppies tattoo the day before (14th) and I couldn't be happier with the outcome.. It meant so much for Cory to come in on his day off for me, and then on top of all that he didn't charge me.. $100 tip was certainly in order. This is probably my favourite tattoo so far. I want to show the world my own art on my skin. Can't wait to build off of it. (Slowly but surely.)

Let's see.. School has been good. Sorta catching up with me at this point. I have 1 speech left in Public Speaking and 1 exam then the final in Math. I'm keeping up with homework and pushing through with ease it seems. Sure it's only 2 classes but I know I'll do well and they are worth a lot in the long run.

The house is coming together. Me and Blake's bathroom is going to finally get a real sink and counter soon. Once it moves in from the garage to the inside of the house.. But it's progress.

The front square the the side of the house has been cleared out and we can now put a hammock up on the 2 front trees after we put down some bark and then we can plant some flowers and junk. Spring is among us and I'm full force happy.

The sunshine sure does something for ya. As much as I love my pants and sweaters- some good ol' sunshine is welcome my way.

I've been taking photos when I have time. Woodburning when I have wood, and doing life real well.

I did kind of have a "boob scare" as I put it to my coworkers. I had some really uncomfortable pain in my left breast (on the left side right outside my armpit) and it would shoot across to the center of my breast to the nipple. It was the weirdest thing. The kind of pain that would stop you while you were doing whatever it was you were because you couldn't breathe. You have to just stop and hold onto something until it subsides. It was like that for 2 days but after the 1st dad had me call the nurse and they scheduled me an apt for the next day. Although I was supposed to present a speech- my health comes first. It was pretty awkward but in the end it was fine. As long as it didn't persist I would be okay. They slowly went away and my nerves went away. Still not cool though.

I finally presented my speech and felt pretty meh about it. Could have done better for sure. But I still have one more so whatever.

Ummmm lets see, what else has happened? I went camping with Em, Kyle, Courtney, and Isaac a few days ago. Just behind Kyles property but it was really fun and gorgeous. Most definitely going back.

I lightened my hair more so it's a wonderful orange red like I've wanted for the longest time. Not to say it wasn't a hassle.. Typical Kristy. She does an amazing job but she has a way of being just unprofessional enough to make me want to go somewhere else.

We shall just see how things go.

I had a really good/much needed talk with em a few nights ago. After class one day he came over and we watched some tv at my house until my dad got home. Then he stayed for dinner and I learned my 5 chords on the uke! (The promise was that I learn 5 and then he will buy me my own!!) so we start shopping ASAP. Anyways- after I needed up going to his house to get a camera part -that didn't end up working- but I found a good time to bring up the subject of weed.

I've hinted at it in my posts recently in a very ambiguous way. But I finally found a time to tell him that I feel ready to try. I've done research and finally replaced my fear and nervousness with curiousity. I think about the subject nearly daily. Its become a norm and I finally want to be a part of it. I'm excited to experience new things however they come.

Ever since I got all that off my chest I've felt so good about my relationship. I feel so close to him and so confident in where I'm at in life. Plain ol' happy to be with him. And I can't believe we've been together a year and a half already..

Each other's longest relationship and I couldn't be more ecstatic. Our first 6 months went by so fast that I have no doubts that these next 6 will go by just the same. Can you even imagine 2 years? I have big goals with this guy I guess. (:

If someone makes you as happy as he does for me, you'd be stupid not to hold on tight.

Even before we had our conversation he had been so affectionate! Which is so big for me! PDA is not his favourite thing in the world so even the smallest thing like kissing my forehead in front of people was huge and so appreciated. I've felt so happy and loved these past few weeks.

I really feel good about life and whatever it could bring. School is almost over, the river is calling my name more than ever this year, I'm surrounded by lots of people I enjoy being around (well most of them..) and it's just nice to feel as happy as I do. Not sure how else to put it. 

1:25am

I'm glad I told you how I felt about stuff that may or may not have been bothering me for a long while. I'm glad you hear me and understand. I'm not out of line here.

Even if my birthday is coming up in 5.. (Now 4 days) away.. I'm not doing anything wrong/putting anything at risk by telling you so.

Not that I would be if my birthday wasnt coming up.

Point is- I'm glad I can speak my mind and you listen. 

9:03pm

Look! I actually did really fun things on my days off!

I went to San Francisco with Emmit on Friday (Hayward actually) and he bought a car!! Not just any car, a blue RAV4. What are the odds.. I'm so happy for him it's unreal. It's going to be really strange him having a car again.

Anyways, he had to work later that day so we left quite early in the morning. And he headed back home around noon. I then met up with Nat and Kelly. We then stayed at her grandmas house. We gallavanted the beautiful streets on SF and had a nice easy-going time.

I'm still thinking about all the beautiful homes in the city. One day I would love to live in a place as structurely beautiful as San Francisco. But I guess that would really just be Portland. (:

All in all it was fantastic. Nice to get away with some wonderful people. 

10:05pm

Today was such a good day! Work was great. Beau and Kelly are practically my favourite people on the planet and our shift was filled with big laughs.

Then I presented my speech to class and it went really really well! I'm happy with my outcome and I surprisingly got fairly emotional.

Plans changed and Em and I didnt go to SF after class. It would have been too late by the time we got there. So planning on leaving early in the morn and getting there before he has to work at 2:30. Spending the morning/afternoon with my favourite boy in one of my favourite cities doesn't sound half bad.

Then meeting up with Nat and Kelly and we will gallavant the streets of SF and take photos and have a wonderful time. That night we shall stay with her grandma and come back Saturday evening since I work Sunday morning. 

Sounds like a great 2 days off to me, no?

Tonight since we didn't go to SF- Brian, Emmit, and myself all had a beer at Three Forks and then pizza at Pete's. There we then played Heads Up- and the room was filled with more big laughs. I sure love those boys.

Since Emmit and I have such an early morning planned we then headed back to the car and on our way home. 

I washed my face, did my excercises (and added a few more reps to some things to test myself) and then hopped in bed. Which then takes us to present time and where we are now.

I better head to bed soon, just waiting for a goodnight text from Em letting me know he got his phone charger from Kyle and is home safe. 

8:59pm

Things are good. So good.

I can't begin to describe how much I love kissing Emmit. It's as easy as breathing.

School is going really well. I got a B on my math test and I'm understanding the material we are learning. Which is stuff that I remember not understanding last time I was in this math class. So it's really really inspiring to see this growth in myself. Giving myself a big pat on the back. And not only am I growing in math but also in the way I'm thinking. Thinking about stuff I did before in a way I normally wouldn't. It's scary to say out loud exactly what I mean.. But it may make sense without words. My curiousity is expanding and I may be ready to take that to the next level. I'm going to be 22 years old soon damnit. It's time I start thinking differently. Look more loosely at a broader picture and not over analyze a certain scenario in the moment. I can do this. It's not as huge a deal as I've made it out to be all this time. Most things I feel that way towards never are.

<--------------->

Driving to SF tomorrow to buy Em a RAV4 believe it or not! Really excited for him. Then Kelly wants me to go back to SF with her that weekend with Nat. And I'm really excited to do that. It's a lot of going and going but I need some variety in my schedule. Get out of this little town every now and then. Besides I'm young and can handle a few late nights.

Umm. I think there was something else I was going to say.. But I'm currently blanking.

I suppose I'm just doing really well at the moment and I'm glad to have that to write down.