9:45pm

Worst fucking day.

It's always the same fucking thing. This always happens and then I tell people to get it out of my system and they say things like that and I just get so mad at myself. Like I'm whining and I should just suck it up. But I'm just so done with the judgement and just not being good enough.

Dear boy,
Was nice while it lasted I suppose just wish it didn't end that way.

Dear Dad,
Wish we could see eye to eye. Wish things were different. I wish I didn't have to wish anymore.

So much for this year being the start to a new everything. It's going just as it did the year before.