I've gone camping. Cried a few times. Been to the doctors. Working 40 hours a week. Helping friends move. Saving money. Feeling exhausted. Took some photos. Baked some cobbler. Didn't go to school. Napped. Walked scout. Did another scavenger hunt. Worked some more. Said goodbye to friends that moved to different countries. Read some books. Watched some movies.
And I think that was all just in August and the few days of September we've had.
And I'm just exhausted. I told myself to keep busy since I'm not in school. And I know that sounds like I am but I also just feel like I'm working all the time. My body can't handle much these days. I'm just becoming more and more exhausted much more easily. It's draining trying to keep up with normal me. Not quite sure what that is exactly though.
I still overthink things and look into scenarios more than I should. So I keep to myself. But I get lonely. Even talked to my dad about it.
My mind is going 100 miles a minute and I really just need this weather to cool down.
I need to feel better. If anything my health concerns are giving me anxiety and I can hardy handle it. I need a job where I can get paid to do nothing. I need to take it easy. I'm so tired and I haven't even done anything.
I hate days off because I forget all the friends I have. I feel I have none. They just turn into coworkers. And then when I need to hang with anyone they are always working when I'm not.
I'm going to start my period soon so crazy me is going to come out. We are going to raise our prices by 15 cents at Caroline's. It's absolutely outrageous. I'm sick of having to charge more and learn new things. I just need some consistency. Just a little steadiness. I'm not sure.
I really need to write more so I can stop being to vague and nonchalant. I'm going to piss myself off later for this. I'm pissing myself off now. I'm mad for just about no reason. I need to distract myself. Maybe I'll see a movie by myself.
