I worked a long shift too! With Sophie (in training), Courtney (as supervisor), and Kathleen (who did back).
I did work with Em for a little bit which was nice- although I didn't feel like I saw him much. As well as Corrie which was fine. She was nice to me. (I'm doing my best to not connect everyone being suddenly nice to me with the fact I just got demoted and now giving me pity.) Which sounds shitty and like I'm being super lame.. which I am.. but at least I'm realizing my problems.
Although I hate the idea of me having to prove myself to gain my spot back I've been keeping really busy. Working my ass off is what it really feels like. I've been doing more little chores throughout the day to keep me moving, start big closing chores early, or just doing everyones chores. Purposely staying away from the register. Just going above and beyond how I normally would act. I'm acting like a supervisor. But it feels weird knowing I'm not.
Courtney kinda made me realize I may be taking it all too a bit of an extreme. But at this point I feel like I need to walk on eggshells for a bit so you know, I don't get fired. I'd rather quit than be fired.
Anyways, only supervisors can train new employees. And Courtney really doesn't know how to do that sort of thing. And for the majority of the shift Sophie was just on register (which was good) and she's getting really good at it. But I'm not sure she was learning anything new most of the day. And Courtney wasn't acting her most supervisor-like. Mostly standing around when we are slow just chatting with Sophie. I know that if I were in that position, I would know that Sophie and I are friends but training comes first. I suppose that having my position taken away from me makes me realize others actions who still have it. I hate cliche scenarios that are true.
"You don't know how good something is (or value it),
until it's gone."
As much as I'm not looking forward to my 'meeting' with Holly this Thursday, I need to prepare for it. Start writing down all I've been doing as improvement. I wish I didn't feel like I'm doing it all for nothing. I work shifts when she isn't even there so she can't physically see me in action. Doing all I can and whatnot to keep busy and change. But oh well.. guess I just have to deal with it.
By the end of the shift as we were really starting to slow down I asked Courtney if she had been using the clipboard and going over any new things for Sophie. Thats when she said she hadn't and she really didn't want to train. So she asked me if I would go over some new things like closing chores or things we do right as we close. I was hesitant since I didn't want to step any boundaries that I no longer obtain. But Courtney said since she is a supervisor I have to do as I'm told basically. So I taught Sophie as if I were a supervisor. And I did a damn fine job. I've trained before so I know how to do it. I've been a link leader and whatnot. I know how to make it an interactive experience. Ask her questions as we perform tasks, make her say things back to me, etc.
I'm a good worker. I'm good at my job. Sometimes I have rough weeks. And that's okay.
By the time we got out of there it was just before 6:30pm. And we even faced some product on shelves. I looked at my phone and had 2 messages from Em. One saying he has a surprise for me and the second saying his phone was about to die but he will be at The Mining Museum waiting for me. I pulled in and he is on his scooter and I can only imagine what this 'surprise' could be.. he hugs me and pulls out my belated Christmas present.. *drumroll please*..
MY HELMET!
Its just beautiful. Nice and silver and has a big protective plate from bugs and wind. I need to get a cool sticker or something to personalize it someway or another.. But I'm thrilled. I finally get to share something that means so much to him, with him. We went on our first ride together and as nervous as I was- it was so incredibly refreshing to be back on a bike (of sorts). Just a few days ago I was thinking about how much I missed riding. I like that I do that. My tomboy-ishness is something I cling to. I'm damn proud of my ambiguity.
Cheers to more scooter adventures!
Speaking of Adventures, I may be embarking on an adventure of sorts myself. I've finally put things down on paper. Started using my sketchbook from Christmas. (My first Barne's & Noble purchase). And I don't want to jinx it or anything but I'm getting excited. I guess I'm calling it a 'Project' since I'm not sure what it is quite yet. A Blog? A Website? Is there a difference? I will be learning so much in the next few months from Emmit and all my computer savvy friends. Don't get me wrong- I'm really good with electronics, but I've never ventured onto these grounds before.
So I guess I'm calling it Fool𝓈 Gold. The fact that it came to me on my 'Bad Day' means something. Not to mention I was outside on a new trail releasing my sadness. Just the whole scenario makes me solidify the name that much more. It's so appropriate since I live in a mining town. Which I really want to incorporate into the project. I want to post photos of Old Grass Valley. Give some history and such, as well as teach myself that I live in a great place. Remind myself to be grateful for what I have before I leave. Which brings me to the second half of 'The Project'..
The goal is to really solidify it all and make it something that bring a profit by the time I move to Oregon. I have a goal and it may be huge- but this whole damn thing is.. I may be biting off much more than I can chew, but damn it I've been talking about it since I don't know when. It's about time I put things down on paper. Start making an effort to turn this into something.
I need this. Something that forces me to go outside. To new places, bring Scout, and most importantly- take photos. I really need to take photos again. I mean I just permanently put one of the biggest aspects of photography on my arm.. I can't just be a walking talking hypocrite. I think that hitting this low was my sign that it's time to get up and change stuff. Realize I'm 21 and need to get my shit together.
So here is to Spring of 2014. And Summer. And my project. And the sun, weather, my future, and whatever else I decide is best for me here in the next while.
This is me trying. Watch out Monday.. I'm com in for ya.
