Felt better, went to school. Pretty uneventful day.
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Had some weird dreams last night.
Still pushing on with the curiosity vs fear of the unknown part of my life.
It's weird how my head works. I may not like something but I've realized its 97% because I don't understand it just yet. Once I understand how the parts work and I can peace together how something operates I can most likely get on board.
I'm becoming more curious about things I thought I wasn't and I'm glad.
It's just finding the right moment to ask how something works, show me, (put aside my fear), and create my own opinion. Granted for an over thinker- this is all much easier said than done. But I'm getting there. At first when I see things I'm not familiar with or uncomfortable with I get defensive or even mean. Completely my own defensive mechanism. And I need to let my walls come down. I'm almost 22 years old I I've always said I need to live for myself. Create my own path. And slowly I'm getting there.
Maybe if I can manage enough courage to fully let down my walls I can recreate a spark in my daily life. My relationship and my friendships. I've been so tense and overbearing in some ways it seems- I don't want to turn people off from the energy I'm putting out.
Time to stop caring so much. Create my own affirmation that it's okay to let go or be curious or whatever I need that day.
Time to start living the way I blog. Effortlessly and with passion. Release and let go.
