7:43pm

Spring semester started on Monday. Commuting to Rocklin isn't great but it isn't awful. The car search continues, so in the meantime I'll be forking out the dough for gas. But with good music I can usually make the drive no problem. I will most likely stay at Sophie's after my night class to save some driving for my morning class the next day so that's helpful too. And to top it all off, each of my classes are art based so I'm really interested in each subject.

2 Dimensional Design

History of Women in Art

And Ceramics & Handbuilding

Talk about using my hands! I'm clearly thrilled. By Thursday I was dead though.. And I'm working all the days I can while not in school.. Which I'm realizing is still a lot. And I'm exhausted. I'll keep you posted how things go.

Tomorrow is Em's birthday! He'll be 22. So we can be the same age for a month of 2 and rhen I'll go back to being a cradle robber.. Haha I have a party planned but keeping it local and nonchalant. Fun and simple. Should be good.

Beau is playing a show tonight so in trying to stay awake enough to survive to see it. I work in the morning (shocking) so I won't stay long- but I want to get some photos and Kelley asked me to be her date. (:

I really should head out and feed Dave's cats and then go to Caroline's and decorate for Emmit. 

8:27pm

We talked. And I feel better.

I cleaned my room. And I feel better.

I found my classrooms. And I feel better.

I cried. And I feel better.

It's all going to be alright. 

10:38pm

I'm not sure what to do in situations like this. You keep hurting me. Please stop. I hope you'll stop. My emotions can only handle so much of you.

I hate hating you. Please please stop. I want to love you, and then you hurt me. What am I supposed to do. How long am I supposed to wait for you to change. Will you change?

I don't want to lose your sisters, or you. But you keep putting me in these situations, only thinking of yourself and in turn hurting me.

But I feel like I'm going to compare everyone to you later if we don't work out. I want you to care about me. I want you to be the one. But you don't reciprocate. You don't show me.

What do I need to do? Help me. Tell me what you need.

I need you. I need you to stop making me cry. I can't keep crying like this. This isn't the way it's supposed to be.

Show me you love me. Please..

3:07pm

Wacky bunch, bitchin' night.