10:21pm

I'm in a black and white kind of mood.

I just want someone to play with my hair.

I wrote a few paragraphs about my day and then pressed the back button. That was just wonderful.. So here is my new less depressing post. I think its time for one of those.

I'm liking Google+.

Shows off my photographs quite well.

Goodnight,

Monica

10:37am

Morning.  {Notice I didn't say good or bad.} Too early to determine.
My eyes are kind of swollen from last night. So annoying.. Every time I cry the next day my eyelids get super puffy and horrid. Bleh.

Just need to put an ice pack over them for a while. :|
Anyways, I got to sleep in which was very nice. Something I never get to do. I should be doing my homework right now rather than blogging. And now I'm really going to stick to what my mind is telling me and actually do it.

Might write later, who knows..

Monica

10:33



Took this minutes before crying. Been a while since I've done that.



Robbie

Thursday September 29th
I miss you.
I miss your silliness.
I miss your hair.
I miss your wonderful shirts.
I miss you.

I brought Blake to school today, then went and hung out in the back room at work and had  nice conversation with my friend and coworker Roderick. Made Traece a drink and then met him early at school so we could listen to music and just chill. That was nice.
Fuck him for having a girlfriend.
My friend believes that he is leading me on.. I am starting to wonder if she is right.

The other friend in my painting class who I thought may like me basically told me I'm like his sister soooooo thatsfuckingawesome.

I have quite a bit of homework I need to do and I work tomorrow and then am most likely babysitting on Saturday. I kind of wanted to go to the Celtic Festival this weekend, so much for that. It was my best friend's birthday yesterday. We hardly ever talk so I kind of almost forgot. Super cool... doubt she even cares or noticed, as long as her boyfriend is around nothing else in the world fucking matters. Bullshit.

I don't know what to do anymore. Its like I'm kind of done taking it day by day and just letting everything happen for me and just roll on by {way too hard to explain what goes on in my head}. Like I just feel like I'm just standing there and everyone else is going places and doing things and constantly moving and I'm just standing there.
Like I'm the only still object in a long exposure.

What do I do to change this? I just want to take pictures. So many pictures.. All day. Why do I have to do anything else?
One thing I certainly need to do is shower.

Might write more later tonight. Maybe even pull an all nighter, no school for me tomorrow, thank goodness..

We'll see,

Monica

Wednesday September 28th

8:45pm.

• School was fine. Think I may have made a new friend in English.
• I have tons of homework, sorta. Eh.
• Came home, Scout is still being a bitch.
• Went out and got some pictures. Messed around with my macro wide angle lens my friend gave me. Pretty bitchin.
• Now I'm getting a headache from my asshole little brother. Who knew so much douchebag could fit into such a little boy?

Bullet points ftw.


Anyways,

Wish this came out better.

I should shower, but instead I edited this.

This was nearly impossible to achieve..Still looks shitty. My goal was to clearly show my largest eye freckle. Meh.

I'm off,

M

6:03pm

Hi again,
work was okay.
I babysit tomorrow. On my one day off. Bitchin....
On a brighter note, my favourite tv show's second season is premiering Wednseday October 12th.
It is called Work of Art: The Next Great Artist.
This was the love of my life from season one.

Miles Mendenhal...oh baby.

I have to give my sisters film camera back.. So I'm shopping around for an AE-1. Eh.. harder than I thought.
I want a day to just relax.
I wish someone was playing with my hair right now.
I wish I had everything I want.
And I wish that didn't make me sound like an awful person.

I want to start a 365 day project as well. As soon as the new year starts. I feel like I would fail at it though since I can barely handle whats on my plate  currently.

Tuesday Spetember 27th

6:27pm
Today was productive. Sort of. I'm not really sure why I even said that. I am working on my photography project. Figuring out how my camera works. {Really my sisters, but I need it for the class since it's only film.} This project is for ourselves so we can see how our camera works. Some cameras may suggest a setting depending on the light and once developed it will show on a proof sheet that your camera may overexpose or underexpose by a full f-stop.

Fun fact of the day.


Explored Nevada City a tad today with my friend. Got some shots in the infamous Mekka.

Fairy Tea.

I wish today had gone better. I feel like it didn't go like my normal Tuesdays. Kind of throwing me off. Ehhhh. I don't like this feeling. Like there is something I need to say or do but don't know how to or want to or something. I can't even explain it. And I'm being all negative and mean. Which is not easy for me to admit. Everyone is doing something wrong in my eyes and I just can't deal with it.
I want someone new to text me. I want to meet new people. Go places. Pause time and not have to deal with this shit anymore. {Even though there is nothing really there to deal with.}
GAH I can't handle this. I need to just stop. Maybe just take a shower or something.. But even that doesn't sound appealing. :(
Seriously why can I not just be happy? I sound so miserable and I'm really not I just HATE this awful mood I have been in for the past few days. Fuck this..

For the special someone who will be reading this later, I thnk you might like this. It's cute and I liked it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VF9-sEbqDvU&feature=related

Monday September 26th

9:33pm
Much better day than the past few! I couldn't tell you how much better it was..
It's not like anything even happened? Just work went well. I finished and turned my essay in on time. Like I said, nothing great happened. It just was?
Tomorrow I have my wonderful classes too :)
Photo and painting.
I just hope that tomorrow is as good as it was today.
I'm not sure if I mentioned but it rained the other day and I really enjoyed it.
I want to come back rather than get warm again.
I wore a sweater and scarf today. <3

I love you with all my heart.

I think I'm having another photo shoot with Courtney again tomorrow. I might even take some self portraits..Who knows what could happen.

Until tomorrow,

Monica

Sunday September 25th

10:08 pm
I currently have a headache. And am listening to soft music.
I never wrote my essay. At this point I'm wondering if I'm even going to that class.
I still feel like shit. And now I'm coughing.
I have to work almost everyday this week. Days I''m not used to working. Fuck.
I want my headache to go away.
I took some pictures today at a friends house. They turned out really nice.
I don't know what to wear tomorrow. It rained today, and that was really nice.
I don't know what to do about tomorrow either..
I kinda want to cry a little bit. : /

Meh.. Fuck.

Best thing about today.

Do I sleep or write?

I hate this feeling,

M

8:02

Awful day. Depressing post. Be forewarned. BLEH.

I woke up and felt crummy, did not want to go to work yet knew I had to anyways. I had to walk my neighbors dog again and feed their rabbits today. {Which I did.} This happened at around 1:07pm. Then was alerted by my phone, and to my surprise it was my work calling. Wondering where I was.

Yepp, thought I came in at 2:30 like normal. Guess again.. So lucky me had to ace to work and yet still arrived 30 minutes late since I live in a town just far enough from civilization to please the rest of my family.

Any who, I got there. Did my job. And whatever.

Now, My little brother is at a school dance and Father Dearest at a class reunion. Which leaves me to be here home alone wishing I was having a movie night with an attractive person of the opposite gender. But does that type of thing happen to me? Hell no. I'm Monica, that one girl. Oh well.

Guess I'll just wander around Flickr and such.

Why can't I just date a Urban Outfitters model. Male or female really. They are all the same person basically. I should probably stay away from Lookbook.nu too. Getting too inspired.






Yeah, I'd date him.



Or her. Or be her.













Damn, I need to take a shower.

Until tomorrow.

Cheers,

M

Saturday September 24th

9:23am
Yesterday was not what I wanted. The heels were cute but my feet ached. My manager was at work today and I'm not used to working around her.. I didn't work on my essay. And was in desperate need of Midol last night. It just could have gone better..
I sure hope that things go better today.....

Bleh.

Traece and I are still talking and I feel that that is going well. But ever since my off day yesterday I don't want to get too excited or expect anything from him or that situation or anything. I don't want to jinx it.

Oh God.. I feel like shit. I want to just throw up and then cuddle with Scout and watch a movie with Traece. Ugh.

Bye.

Friday September 23rd

I think I'm going to paint this I'm going to attempt to paint this.

Good morning lovely,
its 8:38am and I am ready for the day. Any guesses as to what today officially is? Let me give you a hint, it may or may not be my favourite season.. okay so it most definitely is. It is the first day of Autumn. <3 It certainly wont feel like it since it is supposed to be about 90 degrees still.. bleh.
You can see I am quite ready for sweater weather. But the 90 degrees is not stopping me from wearing my new oxford heels and knee-high socks. I have a friend in London that would greatly approve of my outfit. ;)

I want to take pictures. But I have to work. There is so much I feel like I have to do this weekend actually.

• Walk my neighbours dog.
• Drop off a balloon at Courtney's house seeing as how today is her birthday..
• Go to work.
• Take my little brother, Blake, to a football game at his school after work.
• Come home and walk Scout.
• Shower
• Attempt to write my essay & do math homework.

Wish me luck..
I best be off to do my hair and make up. Fancy Friday here I come. <3

Cheers,

M.

Wednesday September 21st

8:58pm
Today was fine. Had Math and English classes. Just kinda meh day. But that is fine. I never wrote my essay last night, I got too tired after taking Scout for a walk. I stayed up an hour or so after that then woke back up to a text from Traece and then talked a bit to him.

Really sad stuff actually. The other day when we had class together he was really tired from staying up all night and only getting about 4 hours of sleep. His grandma wasn't doing so well, and later yesterday night he had a night class in Rocklin. He had to leave early from class because he found out that his grandma had passed away..

He told me last night and I couldn't be more sad for him. I told him how I wanted to just give him a hug and everything. :( He didn't go to his classes today since he was just so out of it. Although he told me that he has known about 6 or so people that had died in the past 4 years.. "I know this is going to sound weird, but I'm kinda immune to death." His words exactly yesterday. Made me so sad..

So tonight at work I worked back and made 2 extra cookies for him and grabbed a big handful of gummies for him tomorrow morning before class to brighten up his day.

Oh! And I think we are going to troll around Petco tomorrow after school. Scout needs some chew toys :)

All in all, I hope tomorrow is better than it has been the past few days. I think it will be. I just have to think of what to wear.. something chesty, yes? ;)





I shall leave you with my favourite animal. The Jackalope.

Good night for now.

Cheers,

M

Tuesday September 20th

Hello there,

Today feels like it has been a long day but at the same time, not so. I went shopping the past 2 days. So that was nice. But it is getting warm again and I just purchases new Autumn clothes. Meh.. I am ready for Cardigans and such.

Work is going well. Still warm in there with all the coffee brewing and beans roasting. But I like it nonetheless. Scout is doing fine as well. Still trying to teach her new things everyday.. like her name. Doesn't come easy when Father Dearest doesn't like it and keeps calling her other names. Oh well. She will learn it one day.

Traece.. my friend/photo partner..so attractive. And he seems to be flirting back, yet I think he might be in a relationship. Crossing my fingers Facebook is lying to me.. Eh. Then there is Austin. Who gave me Scout, and for a few days I thought he might have been sending me signals? Today was a weird day. Everyone was sleepy and off. Lets hope Thursday is better.

I should be writing a first draft of an essay. But I'd rather be blogging. Gah, I know I will regret this tomorrow morning when I am exhausted as fuck from staying up all night and writing it. Oh well, hopefully Traece will text me the whole time to keep me up.



Well, That is my small dose of art for the day. You're welcome.

I'm going to go and write my essay now.

Cheers,

M



Friday September 16th

10:37

Good Morning,

How are you? I'm doing well. Just lounging about with my puppy Scout. Watching the tele, blogging, and editing pictures.

I made a Facebook page for my photography recently. I've wanted to for a while but it wasn't until my new found friend Traece said I should that I actually did it. He has one and got me inspired. He is my partner in my photography class and I will admit, he is quite attractive. We send text messages and such and are planning t hang out and watch movies {he works at a movie store and can get free movies, so why not?}

Anyways, I will just have to wait and see how it goes.

My house is cold. It is finally cooling down. Sweater weather is soon approaching and I couldn't be more excited. Lets see, what else is going on in my life? Oh I edited some images of my friends Nicole in her pointe shoes and her mother's friend saw them and thought they were done by a professional, and said that I should try and sell prints! So that is exciting. I don't even know where to begin in order to do that though.. I will figure something out. I want to put myself out there.

This is Nicole.





Well, I may post a bit later. I am doing a photo shoot with my friend Courtney later at the river. So I'm sure you will hear about that and most likely get a few pictures posted.



Cheers, M

Friday September 9th

Same old, same old. Well, just a bit. I have been taking pictures like crazy since the new camera arrived. I have had many photo shoots already. Then there is still work, I have my 2 week test this weekend. {basically just there to see if I have been learning all that I should by this time.} I'm a bit nervous only because I thought it was 'miss more than 6 and she's fired' kind of test. I was informed it's not, thank God.. but still wish me luck anyways.







 I got so many absolutely wonderful shots of this gorgeous little girl. I clearly was messing around with my aperture settings, found 4,5.6,6.3 and adore the effect. I am just so excited about photography all over again. This is what I'm going to do with my life, I can only do more now.

If you haven't already seen her work, and chances are you haven't, here you go. This is my inspiration for developing my photographic career and lifestyle.
Megan McIsaac, a genius. I hope you enjoy.



I shall leave you with yet another Marc Johns piece.



I should go.

Cheers, M

September 5, 2011

This, clearly is my first post. Hello, nice to meet you, my name is Monica. I'm 18 years old, freshman in college, and an aspiring photographer. That's just the tip of the iceberg. I hope to use this as a bit of a journal, wish me luck.

I shall leave you with a piece of art done by one of my favourite artists, Marc Johns. Enjoy.

-Cheers, M