Rachael Webb's mom did a few days ago.
When I had found out about Rachael's mom I balled my eyes out.. not because I knew her or anything, I mean I had probably met her once or twice..
But it made me think of Rachael and how she doesn't deserve that. She is such a wonderful girl and dancer and she deserves a mom to be in her life. Then it made me think of my mom. Which is the real reason why I was crying. I miss my mom. The other day was Mother's Day. And I had made a status just thanking every woman who had been like a mom to me when mine wasn't. It wasn't until the next day that I had sort of felt bad about what I said. And that I didn't say anything to my mom via text.
I have to remind myself that she doesn't text me unless it's a holiday and even then, if she remembers.
Not to mention that she hasn't been a part of my life in years..
She doesn't even pay child support anymore, at least not for me.
So she doesn't deserve a text message from me, right?
It's just the good person in me that wishes I had some sort of relationship with her.
I need her sometimes.
Sam is getting worried because my pills were over 3 days ago and I still haven't started my period.
Finals and everything are also coming up, so I am assuming it's because of stress.
I guess this may be my first official "pregnancy scare". So awesome..
Sam is more nervous than I am.
I can't really be stressed about it. I need to relax so my body can realize it's time for my vagina to leak red shit.
Secret: How awful is it that I may sort of kinda be a little okay with the idea of being pregnant? If Sam and I talked about it, and whatnot I would make it work. If Ryan Well's can be a single mom at my age, then anything is possible right?
I know I would be a good mom. I know I want to be a mom, and I love Sam. I know he would be a good dad one day. But he has also made it clear- he isn't ready for a baby. Which I understand. Financially it's not a good time.
I'm sure I'm not even pregnant. That would just be too much like a movie. And I'm just about done with movie-type shit happening to me this semester.
I work the morning shift so I better go, but these are just some of the things that are happening/going through my head.
Goodnight
