Thank you.
#momentsofiloveyou
The other day I scared you, as much as I scared myself. My body sure has a way of telling me that I shouldn't keep things bottled up. The shaking, numbness, and crying of my first REAL anxiety attack was a bit too scary in my opinion.
But you comforted me and never let me go. You heard what I had to say and listened. Confirmed that my worries were unnecessary. It was all very good to hear, and I hope that I don't let her or things like that get to me anymore. Or at least make sure to be open about it with you. It's a scary thing to talk about and I'm glad you understand that. But this, US, means too much to let an uncomfortable conversation get the best of me.
I shouldn't be as stressed as I am. School is finally over, thank goodness. And we are practically all done moving. Just the last bits at the old house. I'm still not working much. But we will see if this is a continuous pattern.
I got an application to Ben Franklins again and am almost done filling it out. But the thought of having yet another thing change along with everything else is a bit overwhelming. Plus a family friend brought up my pay will not only go down but I won't receive tips. Which not only is a plus at Caroline's but sometimes a very necessary form of instant payment.
GAH. I'M NOT SURE WHAT TO DO.
So I'm just not going to think about it for a while. Summer just started and I'm not going to let my brain ruin some down time.
Emmit just about has everything squared away for Peru. Leaving the 11th of next month. So, much spending time together with friends drinking, laughing, smiling, loving, and such will happen.
I'm really excited for him. It hadn't quite hit me yet that he is leaving but thought of him at the airport makes my eyes start to well up a bit. But all in the best way possible.
I can't wait to see photos and videos. I hope that communication won't be difficult. Fingers crossed.
What else is new? Hmmm.. I suppose those were the biggest things.
Last night we had a group over at Emmits and we all were drinking and had a good time. My body must be becoming tolerant to alcohol in my system since this is the 3rd time (well 2nd time) I've been quite drunk. And I hold it all down and feel fine the next day.
That may be super lame to be noting but it's just kinda something I realized and it helps make drinking not a bad thing and whatnot. It's nice to just let go every now and then.
And the sex while still feeling it is quite another sensation itself. Car sex may hurt my back the next morning, but is ever worth it in the moment. Not holding back with my noises and having him talk to me is amazing. We just work well together.
I suppose I should get back to packing up my old room.
Until next time.
