I'm getting emotional. all sorts of emotions.
Good and bad and somewhere in between.
School starts in a day or so and I always get excited and feel good when it first starts.
I'm even excited about this one.
But it could just be that I'm sick of being at Caroline's 24/7. Yeah that's probably it.
I've been looking at people's Facebook pages that I miss dearly
(Jillian)
People I admire but don't really know
(Joelle)
New friends
(Sam)
Ones that I respect
(Olivia)
Lets talk about Olivia.
First of all- good name.
Second of all, she got herself out of this black hole.
She took the crazy leap of faith and left without a plan.
She didn't say goodbye to many, but instead made a video.
I hardly know this girl. Hardly at all.
We met (more or less)
More, were in the same room together,
a grand total of about 4 times?
Her look changed every once in a while, but relatively the same through the years.
irrelevant..
Back to the video.
I have no idea why this video touched me so much but I
just felt so, proud of her.
Practically a stranger and I'm not sure.. Just that she went from hating everyone and getting hated on to making friends that meant so much to her and getting close to them
to finally doing what she wanted to all along.
Get out of this god forsaken place.
She is just over come so much and after watching her video I sent her this long mushy message just about how I wish I had known her more and hung out with her to get to know the real Olivia.
"I wish you well on all your ventures."
After all that it really made me reflect on what I am thankful for.
More who than anything..
The one person who I can call my best friend and not hesitate. She just knows me and how to make me smile. I talk to her nearly every day and when I don't I feel like it's been ages.
I'm in love with this girl as well as her 2 kids.
Janna, I tell you how much I adore and love you to pieces nearly every day.
But I don't think you will ever understand just how much you mean to me. How big a part of my life you are.
And I cannot thank you enough.
My dear friend Emmit was hired at Caroline's. I cannot begin to express my excitement.
I went on to tell him that- not only is this rad as fuck for him, this is great for me too.
I hope that this will help get me happy again. I need something to be happy for. Something to look forward to at work. And having one of my best friends around me again is certainly going to help.
Surrounding myself with positive people and beings that inspire me.. it's just all I need right now.
Emmit has always been a fantastic artist ever since I met him. I'm thrilled to see what he will bring to the table.
Khrista told me today that Kim and herself thought I had an attitude a few days ago.
(I worked a 9 hour shift) so yeah.. I was a tad upset.
But I felt as though I got over it.
Nope- Khrista told me that after we closed and they headed towards their cars and mine was in the opposite direction, they agreed I had an attitude and Kim replied with, "I just ignore her after a while"
THE FUCK.
- You are still pretty new there Kimberly..
- I am your supervisor, so ignoring me is kind of out of the question.
- Fuck You.
I hate it when I hear people tell me, "oh whats wrong.." "you're not acting right" "you are acting differently" "are you okay?"
How about you all just leave me the fuck alone..?
Is it really too much too ask for?
Just worry about you and I'll worry about me.
Am I suddenly not allowed to just keep to myself or have any emotions?
If I choose to show any at all- just let it happen. You don't need to question everything.
Fuck.
Sometimes I hate customer service.
Sometimes I wonder why I'm even still working there.
Then I choose to think of other things.
Dad said I don't have to pay him back the $1,400.
As long as I give him the $240 for registration and $200 on the first of each month since we put full coverage on Jack.
Which I have no problem with. But I feel like I need to assume he will change him mind after he hears about me plan for my septum and nostril.
I am frankly done talking about it. Thinking about it. and everything. It's bullshit.
It's what I want for my birthday present. I'm paying for it entirely myself.
And still planing on paying for everything else I'm required to.
I'm done. It's a waste of my time and energy. My reasoning for the entire argument trumps his entirely.
Fuck I'm tired.
Working so many hours. It's really starting to hit me.
I need to go school shopping.
- Binder
- Sketchbook probably
- other essential needs
and on that note, I must say farewell for now.
That was my update on this thing that is my life.
Until next time.
