8:24pm

Fuck.
I'm so sad today.
All I'd been thinking about was taking a bath with candle and music and just being warm and stuff.

I forgot the whole tub setting on my shower doesn't work. It won't hold water.
I can only take showers.

It was literally the only thing I'd wanted to do today.
I feel like shit. I'm totally stuffy. My head is still heavy. I have zero energy and to put all those things on top of a 8 hour shift..
Makes a girl want to cry.
Then I get to do it all over again tomorrow. I keep getting scheduled for the 10:30 shift. Which, sure.. Is nice on the paycheck. But at the same time fucking blows.
I am just plain exhausted.
I feel as though I'm an emotional wreck.

I am fulfilling part of my New Years resolutions by reading more often- but I read sad books. So that doesn't necessarily help with the 'do what makes me happy' portion.

Well, reading does make me happy. It does- but I sure know how to choose the saddest of books in the shelf.

I guess I should just give up on the whole idea of a relaxing bath.
Which just pisses me off more.
I'm ready to move. To get out if this house and town. Ready for school.
Which I still have yet to pay for..

(Still hoping that FAFSA can cover something.)

Just me being hopeful.

I need to shower and rinse off this day.
Pick out an outfit for tomorrow and put the La Roche wedding photos onto a CD or something for Kurtis.

He is starting to bother me. For a while I was worried he liked me, there is still that worry- but he just wants to talk to me everyday and stuff and it not helping with the whole "using my phone less" portion of my New Years Resolutions.

I go through these depressive spells where I only want to talk to a select few people.

~Junior Year At Its Finest~

But lets not go back to that.
Someone please take whatever illness that is trying to inhabit my body. It's overstaying its welcome.

Alright. Going to go cry in the shower.
Goodnight.



PS.. Enjoy my current obsession.