• I don't want to write anymore stories of us crying on Aidan's parents bed about you smoking weed because we are both drunk. And that of course turning into crying about whatever else may be in my mind and feeling like shit because I ruined the night.
• I fucking hate being mad at you and making the realization over and over again that you broke my promise.
• How you hardly even kept one at all since you said you smoked possibly 20~ times since you made the fucking promise.
• How you should have told your friends.
• How differently you could have handled that whole situation.
• How this is something you'll grow out of and how I hope it's soon.
• You're leaving for Peru in 4 days.
• Everyone else is going on a vacation of some sort around that time too.
• The birds outside my window are loud in a soft way but right now aren't as comforting as the white noise of a television, and that makes me sad.
• Things I have to do today.
• What I should wear today.
• I still need to do laundry.
• The vivid thought if me hugging you and kissing you in front of your mom and sister in the airport.
• Crying at the airport.
• You coming back home and showing me photos.
• You coming back home and still wanting to smoke weed.
• Picturing myself hanging with everyone while you're gone and it feeling okay.
• New job?
• Reading lots of books while you're gone. (Goal: 2 a week.)
• FOOLS GOLD
• How even waking up 30 minutes before my alarm is still a crucial 30 minutes of sleep that I will want by the time I get to work.
That's probably a good place to stop I suppose.
I know I had lots of dreams especially once it started to get into the morning hours, and that's most likely what woke me up. I just wish I could turn my brain off while I sleep. At least from all the shitty thoughts I hate to remember.
My alarm will go off in 5 minutes, and I really have to pee.
I need to write more frequently.
